AAR Dogs

A drawing this time! I love drawing cats. Never been very good or fond of drawing dogs though. Smoosh is cute! 

After a fun dinner at Olive Garden with a bunch of cool people Saturday night, a few of us went to the Mall of America in pursuit of amusement park rides. I can't really remember the last time I rode any sort of ride, and I'm quite a weenie when it comes to that kind of thing anyway. Kelsey and I got on a roller coaster opposite a six year old boy and his dad. He had apparently riden the roller coaster many many times and said he wasn't scared at all, but, as his dad told us, he always forgot how big and scary it was until he was on it again. The ascent was nerve-wracking and terrifying and from the first drop on we screamed our heads off the entire time, probably scaring that kid more than the ride itself did. Afterwards we couldn't stop talking about how much fun it was and how we felt like we could do now, even run any and every international course imaginable. It perplexes me that something so terrifying and scream worthy could also be so much fun.

How do you come back from an event like tryouts? I'll have to figure that out in the days or weeks to come. I came into the weekend expecting to run and watch some fun and difficult agility, and while that of course happened the event hardly turned out to be about the actual agility at all. I have never in my agility career felt so excited, so happy, so content, so at home, so welcomed, and so embraced. For being possibly the most high pressure agility event around, I've never been to a show that was as supportive and fun as tryouts. Never once did I feel scared, awkward, or out of place. (I didn't even feel awkward when, after I was introduced to John Nys, I blurted out "I already know who you are because you guys are so awesome but it's really nice to finally meet you!" Yeah, dork.) Yes, I felt more nervous (and way more excited!) at running agility than I ever have before, but I also had this overall feeling of contentment that I haven't felt in an agility setting in...well I'm actually not sure I've ever felt that way.

Now back to my original question, how to I come back from that? How do I hold on to feeling and what do I do with it? It is quite confusing to be honest. In the first hour of driving back from the event, I felt a huge wave of sadness and broke down crying. Anyone that knows me will know how I've been feeling about agility lately. I was fully prepared for this to be "it" for us. We would still do a few shows every once in awhile, but overall we would be done. I wasn't going to pursue any sort of goals with Panic. I did not think I loved the sport anymore and I did not think I particularly belonged in the agility community, at least that is how I've felt for quite a long time now. In any case, agility for agility's sake was not going to keep me going. I just thought it was time for me to move on. But going to tryouts reawakened the part of me that is in love with the sport and the pursuit of improvement. Most importantly I realized how many amazing people there are in agility and how happy I am to call so many of them my friends and to have made so many more at this event.

I don't know what I'm going to do with all these feelings except that I will be doing a bit more agility now. Who knows what's to come of that.

My tiny "adorable" (sic: winniepoodle ) self and my gigantic "PowerCollie" (sic: penichops ) Panic are back in Chicago tonight. Ha! You guys crack me up. Yes, Panic is big, and yes, I am small. I have so many things running through my mind that I want to write about, like roller coasters and excited-ness and sadness and most importantly a feeling that I can't quite describe yet but that I know is something really, really big. But sleep is an important thing and it is 2:30 in the morning.

I'll just leave you with this picture of my giant dog with tiny Ace and Rev, for scale. 




Also, yay Tori! No waiting around for a phone call!

Oh man this is fun. Love it love it love it. Great people, great atmosphere, great courses. I don't want it to end!

Panic and I are laying low in Chicago this morning. The drive was very uneventful and we got here around four yesterday. My good friend that goes to school here and her roommate were awesome enough to let Panic and I crash at their apartment. We walked around the lake for a long time last night. So pretty out here.



I like it here a lot, although Panic and are definitely aren't city folk! There's SO MUCH going on at all hours. We'll be leaving for Minnesotta in a few hours, not really any rush to get there. 

I leave in about an hour for Chicago, and tomorrow afternoon I'll be headed up to Minnesotta. I'm so ready to go, I need to get out of town for awhile! 

I crocheted a USA themed good luck charm to keep me company on the drive, since Panic will be sleeping the entire time. I also have Harry Potter audiobooks to get me through the road trip. 




I think he's pretty cute, Panic is not a fan. Mainly he's just annoyed that we haven't left yet. He keeps laying by the door and giving me dirty looks. 

Every time I sit down and try to think about my actual GOALS for tryouts, my mind starts drifting and thinking about other things like how much candy I should bring for the drive up there. Uh, yeah. Not helpful. It's not for lack of excitement at going, I just can't come up with anything concrete. I just feel...chill about it. Extremely excited, but chill.  
I do have a few personal goals: 
1. Take lots of pictures
2. Don't be antisocial 
3. Remember to eat real food and not just junk (every day goal actually)

I think the most important thing is to try to be fully in the moment. This is the one and only time Panic and I will be going to this event, and I want to experience every second of it. So many of you have gone to tryouts before, anything extremely important I should know? 

Panic's advice: just smile and run fast. Solution to everything in life. 

I'm perfecting my microwave cake making skills. This one is peanut butter and it was pretty awesome. Essential college student skills. 

I signed up for this 5k today. Oh man. I am SO EXCITED. You have no idea. I also signed someone else up for it but they don't know it yet. I'm sure they will be thrilled.



I also finally made hotel reservations for try outs. Having somewhere to sleep, that seems important.

Did agility for three hours this morning. Some frustration and some great moments. I need to remember that the more I try to work on crazy things off of dogwalks the worse his performance gets. Yeah stop messing with contacts. He can do them, no need to drill them.

Try outs seems way too close, and I'm not sure I'm ready. Mentally, that is. I don't know what my goals are or the kind of mindset I want to have or anything. But maybe I should just be chill about it. We really have nothing to lose, purely going for the experience.